TransEthics: I understand that you’re married. How long have you and your wife been together, and when in your relationship did you come out as transgender to her?
Sadie Satanas: My spouse and I were married on June 6th 2006 (6/6/6), but we’ve been together for 15 years. We are poly, but committed. I came out to her about 4 years ago after we moved from the Bible belt of Oklahoma to the Bay Area.
TE: How did that initially affect your relationship?
SS: I have never felt anything but support from her with my transition. I’m sure it was an adjustment for her and still is. She is gender queer, and our sexual dynamic has definitely changed; I am much more submissive now that I’m on hormones.
TE: You said you married on June 6th, 2006. That’s more than symbolic for you, isn’t it?
SS: It was chosen with purpose. (giggles) Both of us are Satanists and we thought it would be fitting to be married on a date whose number is memorable and associated with blasphemy.
TE: So Satanism isn’t a gimmick for you. How did you get into Satanism?
SS: I have had a fascination with Satan since I was very young. It was my first Halloween costume. I grew up in the late ’80s during the Satanic panic, so Satanism was everywhere in the media. Whether or not it was the intended purpose, it sparked renewed interest in Satanism for many people disillusioned with Christianity and its oppressive nature. I was one of those people. I started reading the works of Anton LaVey at 13 and it progressed from there.
I am currently a member of the Satanic Temple and part of the leadership council of the San Jose, CA chapter. I joined TST after years of what I felt was inactivity in our religion after the passing of Anton LaVey. I grew up reading as many works on religion, disbelief and romantic Satanism as I could.
Being queer and believing in equality, I am diametrically opposed to faiths that would pass policy to regulate myself and others out of existence. An openly Satanic stance in a society of Christian privilege could be considered an act of civil disobedience. To be clear, The Satanic Temple is an atheistic religion; we do not ‘worship’ Satan. We don’t believe in Satan. Satan is a metaphor that represents knowledge, the adversary of tyranny and oppressive ideologies.
TE: Do you think that choosing ‘Sadie Satanas’ as your porn name has been an obstacle when it comes to finding work in the sex industry?
SS: Possibly, but I wouldn’t change it. I have had friends in the industry ask my why I don’t change it. One person I worked with tried to cover my Baphomet tattoo in our scenes; said it would “scare the customers”. Fuck that. That is of little interest to me. Being true to myself is more important to me than popularity, or status. I have shot few scenes and haven’t actively sought work purposely. I’m grateful for the opportunities that have opened up in my life because I have shot porn and I will probably shoot more, but if I am not a viable option for major companies, I am okay with that.
TE: Has doing porn put any strains on your marriage?
SS: Some, yes, but my wife is a stripper so sex work is normal to us. Being married is one reason why I am selective with how much work I seek. I am grateful for the adult industry companies that give trans models wonderful opportunities, and would enjoy working with many of them in the future. But I have been with her 15 years and respect her, and it did take a little time for her adjusting to my doing porn.
TE: From what I understand, being in a polyamorous relationship requires not only complete trust, but also open and honest communication. What kinds of boundaries do the two of you set for each other to keep your marriage strong?
SS: She has some love interstates out-of-state, I have had partners and shot 6-7 scenes, but I have no one I am emotionally close to. We have threesomes. I ask her to be safe, please don’t get pregnant and get tested afterwards. My wife and I are very close. We played in death metal bands together for a decade, have taken care of each other’s families. Polyamory has not weakened our bond.
TE: Is it a misconception that polyamorous people kinkier than most?
SS: I think polyamorous people might fear taboo less and thus embrace their kinks; perhaps more open about them than a traditional couple with closeted fantasies. I’m sure there are plenty of vanilla poly people though. I just don’t know them.
TE: What are some of your kinks?
SS: Blasphemy, water sports, group sex, oral, bukkake (though I’ve yet to have the privilege.) BDSM. I switch but I’m way more subby… I love abuse, pain, choking and humiliation. I get hard getting tattoos, and I have over 150 hours of them.
TE: Not many people I know would include getting tattoos as a kink. Makes me wonder if there’s a niche for that in porn. Could you possibly see yourself trying something like that?
SS: Yes. I see tattoos as almost like a BDSM session. I can use a safe word and stop the controlled pain at any time. I am paying for a domme session and get free ink. I don’t think my artist knows I’m getting off like that. I wish he’d let me suck his dick for tattoos.
TE: Of the tattoos you have, do you have a favorite?
SS: My unfinished lower back piece. It’s a replica of a 19th century Japanese Shunga woodblock-print ‘The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife’ by Katsushika Hokusai. It’s believed to be the first piece of tentacle erotica, which is another fetish of mine.
TE: Has what little sex work you’ve done helped you discover new fetishes you hadn’t otherwise considered?
SS: Yes, because until I had shot with Christian I had never fucked a guy; only women. Shooting with Kai Bailey pretty much solidified my lust for dudes. Are guys a fetish? (laughter)
TE: Is there someone in the Industry who you would like to do a shoot with but haven’t yet?
SS: Eva Cassini is the sexiest TS porn star in my opinion, and an awesome gal.
TE: What are some of your other hobbies or interests?
SS: Buttsex. (racous laughter)
I love horror – films, art, literature. I study true crime cases voluminously. I wrote on a true crime blog for two years for my friend Corey Mitchell (RIP) who was a best selling true crime author and co-creator of Housecore Horror Festival. I corresponded with serial killers for years and have collection of letters, art, and other murderabilia from convicted killers. I also am a lifelong fantasy gamer. I love cats, skate boarding, photography, roller coasters and Capoeira on the beach. And Marijuana.
TE: Aren’t you concerned that by contacting convicted murderers, you’re damaging your psyche somehow?
SS: America is obsessed with true crime. Turn on your news and TV. It’s a fascinating. Having friends who were authors and a band that focused on the topic, it progressed like any hobby – except instead collecting comic books, you’re getting letters from the Son of Sam. It’s like getting letters from a monster, because that’s exactly what they are: monsters. I have no love or sympathy for any of them.
I still read and watch documentaries but I do not currently correspond with anyone nor have no desire to. I don’t think it damaged my psyche so much as made me more aware of how terrible humans can be and to take care. I imagine being fascinated with death has a lot to do with managing anxieties.
TE: What is it that you do professionally?
SS: Before I transitioned I had factory jobs, did piercings, worked in porn stores, and played live music. Now I sell art, escort occasionally, have a few sugar daddies, and I have worked trimming and growing marijuana for years. And my wife makes a good living dancing.
TE: What instruments did you play in your band(s)?
SS: I played drums, guitar, bass, and vocals in death metal bands for years; and I program electronic music in a Lovecraftian noise project I have called R’lyeh. I’m currently learning keyboard. I love music.
TE: Who are your musical influences?
SS: My wife, Luigi Russolo, Throbbing Gristle, GG Allin and the Murder Junkies, Anal Cunt, Geto Boys, King Gordy,Origin, Gorgasm, Deicide, Little Richard, Misfits, Electric Wizard… random sounds… too fuckin’ many to name. Our house is full of instruments. I love music.
TE: After you came out, did you find it was more difficult to find a ‘typical’ job?
SS: I have very rarely had a ‘typical’ job outside factory work. I have not sought one since I transitioned.
TE: Why is that, exactly?
SS: Neither my spouse nor I want a ‘typical’ job at this point in our lives. We have no children and are more than able to make ends meet with my sources of income and my spouses. We live in a cottage by the Sea and do well for ourselves. Also, I spent the better part of the last 4 years, my whole transition basically, helping my spouse care for her mother. I was her caregiver and eventually her hospice nurse until she passed in our home from cancer a few months ago.
TE: I’m sorry for your loss. How did your faith help you cope with that?
SS: Satanism is not faith per se, as we are Atheists. If my religion did aid me at all it’s by helping me realize that this life is all we have, death awaits us, all and we should LIVE life to the fullest while we have the chance. Appreciate life.
TE: Do you think trans people will achieve full equality in your lifetime?
SS: I’m 41, so maybe no… (laughs) I’d like to think it’s possible though as long as we work toward it. Never stop fighting for equality.
TE: One more question: If you had one point to drive home to the world, what would you say?
SS: Be yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself and others. Love makes the world a better place.
TE: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today.
TE: Just doin’ my thing. 😊
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